As a software engineers, we need to validate different assumptions to reach to the most optimal design.
As human beings, we need to adopt a similar approach to dating. There will be trial and error, but once we know our constraints, we will be able to find the optimal match.
What do I mean when I write constraints?
There are external and internal constraints, just like designing a program. Internal constraints are our own “limitations” and external one are our potential partner’s one.
Our own limitations can be our social upbringing, our education, our status in the society, our preferences in terms of hobbies and how we spend our time, where we live and where we want to live and so on.
The same is true for the person we are dating. We need to assume some quality we think they have, based on initial conversation, and confirm or eliminate them.
This seems like a stricly mechanical operation with lack of emotions, but it is not.
Because only when we know we are compatible with someone we can start building a fulfilling relationship, otherwise we will end up in a mediocre one.
And this, I believe, is far worse than being single.